- on pink slime “Yes, LFTB because our beef now has so many hormones it’s a member of the transgendered community.” (“So I just want to get out in front of this and say that I, Stephen Colbert, apologize to any of my transgender bovine viewers that may have been offended.”)
- “That’s why, fellas, always look for the adams apple! That’s a pro tip. Then, look for the adam’s penis”
- “Nation, President Elect, Obama is meeting every day with his transition team, or in beltway lingo, ‘tr***ies’.”
- “But these days, chewing gum is as supple and flamboyant as a Saigon Ladyboy.”
- “Oh, and the next time you’re waltzing with Matilda, you might wanna check out her adam’s apple, ‘cause she’s a dude!”
- “I’m not talking tasteful private ceremonies, I’m talking parades with floats, throbbing disco music, and sh*m**es tying the knot on preschool playgrounds!”
- “Now, I already an advance copy of the Deathly Hallows and Spoiler alert: Hermione’s a dude…”
- “If you ask me, we can’t trust any of these tr***ies.”
- “You see, I didn’t come here to criticize anyone. I came here to praise one man, one Her-man. Important note: a her-man is not the same as a sh*m**e.”
- “Gee, I wonder how a man called “Hilary” became so obsessed with names… …but, what would this limey sh*m**e have us call the war on terror instead?”
- “I believe that “the Man” is keeping the California republicans down. And, being from California, “the Man” is probably a tr***y.”
- “So, was this just a simple case of a panda that was a female and all along was misidentified due to the breed’s ambiguous sexual characteristics, or is the simpler answer that we’ve got a tr***y panda? Now, I never thought I’d give advice to bears, but here you go. Chinese pandas, here’s how you can tell the difference: if you show up to your breeding pen and your lady’s got a an adam’s apple and big paws, get the hell out of there!”
- “Left to their own devices, these brave young souls could fall prey to some very dangerous characters…” cuts to clips of Sex and the City “…by which I mean tr***ies.”
- “Now, we’ve all been fooled by these tr***y reptiles before…You’re out in the desert with a few friends having a few drinks. You see a lizard sunning itself on a rock. You go over to strike up a conversation. The lizards plays it cool, doesn’t respond. So you drink more to fill the awkward pauses. Next thing you know, you’re back at her place and suddenly you realize what you’re caressing isn’t a cloaca, it’s an enlarged femoral pore! And you just get the hell out of there! Or so I have read.”
- “C’mon democratic party. Play along! If your party does not implode, we’ll have to go with our backup scandal. Ed Rendell is a tr***y!” (screen shows photoshopped image of Ed Rendell) “Hello! I thought we were going to put up a picture of Ed Rendell, not this lovely lady right here.”
- “To get this protection these fair-weather-females and fence-sitting-fellas will have to identify themselves. They will no longer shock and confuse young reporters on assignment in a new town who happen to appreciate ladies with big hands.”
- “Oh, you mean the place of Queens…I thought maybe you were gonna reveal something! that perhaps we had a sh*m**e on our hands, here.”
- This tweet
- “But, here’s my biggest problem: this race was for female leatherback turtles. What kind of girl’s name is Billy? Ok. Know what I think, folks? Billy is a dude! A turtle tr***y! You can tell by the size of the flippers. And the adam’s apple. Trust me, I’ve been burned too many times. Evidently, I am not alone. They are a menace! Here’s my theory. While Stephanie and all of the other real gals were actually laying eggs on the beach in their nests, Billy fooled the judges by popping ping-ping balls out of his behind. And now he wants a trophy! Well, your little crying game is up, William! No no no, I demand that race officials verify the sex of this turtle, by checking the concavity of its plastron! Oh yeah, I’ve done my research. I do the same thing to all of my dates. And if that plastron is not concave, I am out of there.”
- Colbert: Is there a difference between male-bodied and male, or female-bodied and female?
Ketchup: Not all people with female bodies identify as women.
Colbert: So, if I meet somebody down there who says they’re a woman—
Colbert: —I could be in for a rude surprise? Because they may not be female-bodied?
- Colbert: Like What? What? What kind of jobs?
- Cartwright: Like transient farm working jobs.
Colbert: I don’t care what sex they are, as long as the pick my vegetables.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
NEVER TRUSTING A WHITE DUDE AGAIN
Just in case people didn’t know.
It kinda sucks sometimes to be a fan of his show because satire is supposed to mock the powerful, not the oppressed. It’s frustrating and hurtful. This is one of the most painfully obvious ways that Colbert’s character goes beyond “I’m satirizing bigots by pretending to be one” and is just plain old being a fucking bigot.
Also notice the lack of hate for AFAB people.
“We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.” - Bill Hicks
If this ain’t some shit…Why not how sexy is she? Or how bomb is the booty?
how bomb is the booty
You know, the one that gives housewives/full-time mothers a pension— wages for housework?
It’s ONLY A HUGE VICTORY FOR FEMINISM, SOCIALISM, AND WOMEN OF COLOR. Not a big deal or anything. Tumblr is mysteriously silent about this.
Oh my goodness!!!!
Your daily reminder that Wolverine is the fucking
Fixed it :D
Nah son. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah son.
Wolverine is the fucking worst.
He’s wrong, to start with, She-Hulk didn’t get with Juggernaut, some version of her from the multiverse did. So you got this hairy little Canucklehead absorbing and spreading fuckshit rumors about the sex life of one of the (relatively) few high profile superwomen in his field of work.
Then you got the fact that, right or wrong, Logan is on that slut shaming bullshit. Hey, Wolvy, you don’t want to have a one night stand with Jen? Fine, your loss. Hey, Wolvy, you wanna put down Jen because the sex she may or may not be having lowers her value to you? Drink some bleach.
And since bullshit comes in threes, you also have the straight up hypocrisy of it all. This is goddamn Wolverine we’re talking about, who despite all odds has a list of sexual partners as long as his arm. If he didn’t have a healing factor, the last hundred and fifty years of freaky loving he’s gotten would have left him literally riddled with diseases. (Son had half a dozen kids he didn’t know existed, you can’t tell me Wolverine places a high value on safe sex, or even pulling out). Wolverine has literally less authority than anyone else in the Marvel Universe when it comes to judging people based on their sexual history.
But no, it’s all good, respectability based on your sexual history is a one way street. Get a lot of pussy? Player. Get a lot of dick? Skank.
She-Hulk sees y’all, and doesn’t think much of you.
HEY GUESS WHAT GUYS, I’M GONNA REBLOG THIS LIKE FIVE TIMES TODAY BECAUSE SOME PUNK ASS, INSECURE, BETA PERSONALITY ASSED DUDEBRO CALLED ME GAY FOR SAYING IT. WHICH I CAN ONLY ASSUME MEANS I SAID SOMETHING WORTH SAYING.
** CAUTION **
Please tell every dog or cat owner you know. Even if you don’t have a pet, please pass this to those who do.
Over the weekend, the doting owner of two young lab mixes purchased Cocoa Mulch from Target to use in their garden. The dogs loved the way it smelled and it was advertised to keep cats away from their garden. Their dog (Calypso) decided the mulch smelled good enough to eat and devoured a large helping. She vomited a few times which was typical when she eats something new but wasn’t acting lethargic in any way. The next day, Mom woke up and took Calypso out for her morning walk. Halfway through the walk, she had a seizure and died instantly.
Although the mulch had NO warnings printed on the label, upon further investigation on the company’s web site,
This product is HIGHLY toxic to dogs and cats.
Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey’s, and they claim that “It is true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat Cocoa Mulch can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending on each individual dog). However, 98% of all dogs won’t eat it.”
*Snopes site gives the following information:http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp
Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman’s Garden Supply and other garden supply stores contains a lethal ingredient called ‘Theobromine’. It is lethal to dogs and cats. It smells like chocolate and it really attracts dogs. They will ingest this stuff and die. Several deaths already occurred in the last 2-3 weeks.
Theobromine is in all chocolate, especially dark or baker’s chocolate which is toxic to dogs. Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic quantities of theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to caffeine and theophylline. A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of garden mulch made from cacao bean shells developed severe convulsions and died 17 hours later. Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested cacao bean shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of theobromine.
**PLEASE PASS THIS ON**
I’m a stone cold fox. You could disagree with me, but you would be wrong.
its the notion of boycotts
you wanna know why the bus boycotts of the civil rights movement were so successful?
because an alternative black run transportation system was created for those who couldn’t walk to work or whatever they had to go
they didn’t just tell people “oh the bus enforces racist policies so don’t take it and FUCK if you can’t get to work on time or where you need to be!”
they said “hey you’re paying to get on the bus and not even being given a seat let alone being ejected if a white passenger needs your seat. here’s a potentially better alternative where you pay to sit down and get to where you need to go”
all this “boycott Target, Walmart, Monsanto owned companies” comes from a notion of boycott located in the politic of privileged white people
and that’s why they are largely unsuccessful
its why Obama just gave Monsanto the green light to commit even more fuckery to your food
its the reason why cooperation are considered people
its the reason why Walmart is allowed to usurp safety and labor regulations in their factories, and underpay their American workers
because you say “don’t spend your money there” and that’s the end of the story
you expect people to locate their survival in a politic of “abstaining from unethical choices”
and then from there those unethical choices are somehow supposed to magically disappear. when really only a small percentage of people are able to boycott so many things
there wouldn’t be a movement located around the “99%” if 99% of people could really afford to stop shopping at the unethical places and stop buying the unethical brands
good luck with your hocus pocus activist logic
hocus pocus lol. but this shit is hella real.
just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr
you mean Microsoft?
- things men say to women about "misandry":WHY CANT WE JUST TREAT EACH OTHER AS EQUALS????
- things men say to men about misogyny: